tonight i decided i needed a bit of a distraction so i asked dm (dm is my dear mother, not to be confused with mom mentioned over on the sidebar) if she wanted to go to the cinema.
we went to see casino royale, the new james bond film.
the irony has never been lost on me that i am a lesbian and one of my favourite film series has been the james bond films - essentially a series of stories featuring one of the most egotistical male chauvinists in cinema history. if i were to meet a man like this in real life, he would surely piss me off to no end.
but after seeing casino royale - the story that introduces the character of james bond - i understand what the appeal is.
this film is based on the first book ian fleming ever wrote introducing james bond as a double-oh agent. in this story, we see his vulnerability... a woman strips away his emotional defenses and he falls in love with her only to be betrayed in the end. and he loses her as much as he wants to save her life. this event turns him into the male chauvinist that he is in the other films we're more familiar with - he uses women rather than letting them into his heart.
kind of how i feel... C stripped away my defenses... i fell in love... she hasn't betrayed me, but after all this, i will close off my heart forever...
my alter ego
who i am
- Sapphire
- I have an extraordinarily beautiful wife, two incredibly talented kidlets and a cat who thinks he owns us all. *laughs* I'm addicted to reading. I love history and writing and most days I believe I'd like to have a paranormal encounter. I believe ghosts exist, I'm just not sure if I'm ready to meet one yet.
5 comments:
you may feel as though you will close off your heart forever, but forever is a very long time. take care
poet
Kerry - I can imagine what pain you must be going through - I have been there myself. This will take some time to heal. Someday you will look back on this and realize what a beautiful thing you and C had and be thankful for it. Life is a series of experiences that you learn from. This one will only prepare you for the great one --so, don't close off your heart - you have shown to yourself and the world that it is a wonderful thing.
Forever is only as long as I live. Could be five years, ten years, twenty. I don't know, but this is how it is.
It will be as you want it to be. Peace, honey.
As I was reading this post it reminded me of a quote I read recently.
A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
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