what is a friend?

these last two and a half weeks have been the most difficult of my life.

through all of the pain and tears and wondering where i go from here, there have been two friends that stand out. please do not think for an instant that i have disregarded any of your comments or feelings about everything that has happened. i haven't. it's just that these two individuals - D and M - have reminded me what a friend really is.

yesterday i had an impromptu counselling session and mentioned somewhere along the way that i felt that i've been a burden to my friends. i think that is the main reason why i have not turned to more of you and sought you out to speak on individual terms. it seemed enough - more than enough - that i burden D and M. but for whatever reasons they persisted and have helped me more than i think either of them realise. even now i feel i should repay them, but there is no measure of money or anything else of value that could compare to the presence of a friend who's truly been there and truly wants to help me heal.

on top of it all, there's mom. i will briefly explain who she is to me. she's a friend i met a few years ago who is also a lesbian and old enough to be the woman who gave birth to me. i started calling her mom about a year after we'd met because she is, in my eyes, the mother of my heart. she, too, has experienced a lot of heartache with relationships so i have had her support and love as well.

regardless of how i may respond to you, i appreciate your continued support of me.